So... Since the point of the blog is for healing, humility, giving me perspective, keeping honest, I thought it only fair for those who want to read this to read a little of my interpretation of my life thus far (in brief synopsis and in accordance to one who has a very poor memory).

I am #3 of 4 children. My siblings (whom I now adore): Nancy- she is the oldest and trumps me by 8 years, Phil- 6 years older, and Doug- (honestly he's my 1/2 brother, but to me he's my brother, get over it!) he's 11 years my Jr. My folks, Dad... what can I say about Dad, but that he's always been on a pedestal. I've tried knocking him off a couple of times, but I end up putting him right back up there... sorry Dad. Mom too. What's the deal that I revere my parents with some kind of awe, but a comfortable awe if you will where I can "rebel" and be myself.

I'll start where my memories begin, and to make you aware... that skips a couple/few years of my life. Before school began for me, I remember attending my Grama's montessori class, in Detroit?. All I know is that Grama and I were the minority- kids would come up to me and ask me what was wrong with my head cuz my scalp was white. I loved that place!!! The pink building blocks, the rice station and the blue water station, that's where I learned "where is thumbkin". Grama said I was 3 when I learned to read, I don't think that was by my own volition, but hers, ha! The first house I remember was in Sterling Heights. It was a cool neighborhood, one that I wished existed for my kids. There were no fences to begin with. Games would encompass the homes in their entirety. Especially the crab apple wars, but beware lest you pass by our house when Dad was sleeping- that wasn't a good thing for us. Devoted to the Church, in the physical was Sterling Heights Assemblies of God. That was where so much was cultivated for me in my relationship with Christ. I have to say, if I had to choose what was the one greatest thing my parents did for me, it would be that they helped and surrounded me with those who helped allow the Holy Spirit to resonate within me, thus made Christ real, accessible. Dad, tried to do some home studies with us, but let's be honest... I had no clue what he was talking about. Grama was also an "inspiration". those who know can chuckle with me now. hahaha! anyway. We were at church, a lot. Starting in a little traileresque type building to watching my Dad help with the new facility which still stands today. I loved Missionettes, Mrs Smith who led my class. That's where I learned my first memory verse: John 3:16. I was always intrigued by those who were on the mission field and those kids who were able to experience a missions trip with our church, I had high hopes that I too would go. I longed to participate in my Dad's class, because I thought he was the coolest of all teachers. I loved the choir, listening to the worship band and my brother and sister sing. I loved being in the main sanctuary through praise and worship, always so excited when someone was speaking in tongues and then the interpretation... always wowed me!! I saw myself doing outreaches, which I did eventually do with a puppet ministry. Fun!!!


SCREECH TO A HALT!!!!!!!!

Four major events happened for me in the upcoming years. My next door neighbor, my best friend David... moved away for his Father to Pastor a church in Alberta Canada. I was crushed. I had the pat on the head and move on attention, but really it was more than that to me. The second, The Hoyle family left for the missions field. These were the people who I was able to do the puppeteering outreach with. Now the third. We (my brother, sister and I) came home from a Wednesday night at church. When we walked in the house, it was dark. That happened, Mom would go to a ceramics group. The phone rang, it was Grama. She had asked for Mom, I had told her that she wasn't home yet. Indeed she was, sitting in the dark on the piano bench in the family room. When she yelled at me that she was home, that was the end of life as I knew it. For me, the official end of their marriage, the end of life as it was. We moved to another city, by my Grama (Dad's Mom). Good bye to my friends, of which there were a few that I held closely to my little girl heart. Good bye to my brother, whose room was next to mine... he moved to Grama's condo. My Dad was gone, and in his place stood an angry and hurt mother and a sister who was usually gone or in her room. People looked at me differently, treated me differently. So much for our "perfect" family. I prayed, and prayed and prayed... the answer was "no". Those things I promised myself, that I had hoped for, that I expected I let go of. I claim responsibility for my actions, but let me tell you how does one of whatever age this occurred (5-9 year old) deal with these strong emotions, events?????!!!! I think I remember once going to some kind of counseling (the first time I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to speak to someone who was sitting in the lobby, but I ignored it... still bugs me to this day!), but never again... and you can bet your bottom dollar no one else in my family spoke about it.

No understanding to what had happened, except that if we had made life easier for Mom, that this wouldn't have happened.

All this time I have lived my life to embrace people, no matter where they've been, no matter what they've done. It is not my business to judge. Forgive and move on. As an adult, I can see this, I can understand it. Can a five year old do that? Can a seven year old do that? I would like to introduce you to Elizabeth Marie Hughes, a faith filled, sincere yet angry and hurt little girl... I'm sure if you look at me, at times I'm sure you see a glimpse of her. She resonates within me and I don't know how to put her to rest. There are three decades that separate us.

Moving on... I lived a house away from my Aunt Jo-Ann and Uncle Jim, Audrey, Will and Joe. That was fun. Dad, he popped his head in every now and again from WV. I started failing 4th grade. How do you fail 4th grade? I had never had trouble in school, this was nonsense. Sitting here now, I see that I lost the depth of myself somewhere in there. Everything I did was superficial, to make those around me happy.

Hmmm... Pardon me, I must stop for now. I'm having a profound moment. Leaving this here, please, don't allow yourself to become all in all superficial. Christ resides much deeper.