Chickadee Will

Several months back, I had wanted to have a tattoo done in memorial of my cousin, Will. Because I am quite aware of what a crap tattoo can be, I held off until something clicked, to the point when my appointment came round and I didn't "feel" what my artist had created, we worked on another piece and scheduled again a few months out. After, I had a dream of a chickadee, of which to my recollection I had never seen nor heard, and in my dream it was a representation of Will. I watched as the chickadee's feather blew softly in the wind and listened to it's sweet comforting call. When I woke, I knew that was it. My artist nailed it, and here my chickadee sits on my arm... A memorial to Will and reminder that God is always with me.

So, as I stated before, I had not seen nor heard any chickadees... Now, there is a chickadee that comes and sits on a branch of the tree that sits outside my kitchen window. He tends to show up when I am down. He does not chirp and does not have any company that I have seen and he only tends to stay for a few moments. Hmmm...

This weekend, Dave and I celebrated 17 years of marriage. There are many special moments we have shared together... this is one that I will rank way up there. Dave decided he wanted to go back to Wahtum Lake for our anniversary, to explore a different trail. We arrived just as night had descended, which meant pitch dark. Dave hiked down to the lake to see if there were any campsites left. There were not. He insisted on setting up the tent at a site near the parking lot... I asked him not to, he didn't listen. By the time he came back to the car (because he both set it up and tore it down- the ground had a crazy slope to it) I had fallen asleep upset. That was the end of our day. I woke up during the night to him snoring... by 6 am I was awake, cold, annoyed and had to pee like none other. This didn't seem like it was going to be a great day. I kept talking myself (internally) off the edge of being really bitchy. We fell asleep on and off for the next couple of hours- in which every 15 minutes I was either awakened by his snoring or he was jolting upright because of some noise outside. By 9 am I was done being mad and moved on and we geared up to hike.

The trails were beautiful. An overcast day, not too windy and no one on the trails. They were quiet trails, the only sounds were from us and the occasional chipmunk or grey squirrel. We headed out towards Eagle Creek. There was a point, about an hour in, where all of a sudden the air changed. Yes, I mean the air changed. I have never breathed in a more pure smelling and feeling air than this. I turned to Dave and made a comment about it, he noticed it as well. A moment later my eyes focused on a small maple tree, which seemed out of it's element (we're surrounded by pine and brush and moss covered rocks). Then out of no where, like the one on my arm, a chickadee flies down from a branch, looks directly at me and sings "chicka-dee-dee-dee". I looked at Dave and looked back at the bird. He called again then flew up to the branches in a nearby pine. The pure air breeze blew again, then all of them started taking turns calling and flitting around... to our surprise, there were some 30 chickadees up in that tree. A God given moment, what else do you call it??? It didn't last long, maybe a couple of minutes at most and a stretch of maybe 10 feet, but it brought tears to my eyes and silenced the both of us for quite some time.

The hiked continued in it's splendor. On our return, I stopped to look for that point again, the trees were still there, but "it" was gone- the air, the birds. I was not disappointed, but thankful for those couple of moments. Dave had asked me what I was looking for, I told him... he already knew. We were about a 1/4 mi. away from our final destination when I spotted a yellow finch. As I watched his flight from across our path to another tree, there they were, the 30 or so chickadees calling and flitting about and the pure air, again. And as quickly as it came, it went. With raised eyebrows and smiles on our faces we ascended the stairs back to the car.

What does this all mean, I dunno. Does it mean anything to anyone else, I doubt it. What I know, I know that God speaks to each of us in His own way. I was glad that Dave could share it with me, to see my moment with God how I see it.