Me, myself, I

Me, myself, I- self gratification. Is this what it is all about? I wish it were that I lived life completely different from this statement, but I often think of myself over others. Not a good place to be and I try to fight it- with God's help there is a measure of success, but how easy it is to fall into what society is nowadays.

I ran into an exercise acquaintance of mine... her family moved here from the midwest/eastcoast a few years back. They have a son Gabriel's age. I haven't seen her for the better part of 9 months- ran into her at the boys' swim lessons. She was sitting with her family when we noticed one another. I went over to speak with her and was having a great conversation and then she introduces me "Liz, I would like you to meet my ex." I was a little surprised. "Just wasn't working out. We both wanted different things. You can't control what the other does." These were her explanation statements. All I could say was "Wow, I'm so sorry, (quietly)how's your son dealing with this?" She used no words, but her face and the thumbs down signal said it all. She explained to me that her and the ex were doing all they could to keep it "normal". I just wanted to laugh (in anger) shake her around a bit and scream "what are you thinking???!!!" "There will be no normal, can you not see what a f*** up I am?"

There came no words of wisdom, only a sense of mourning for her and her son and her ex. An overwhelming sadness. I tried to encourage her, just keep loving your boy. Be there for him. She's now working full time, going to school full time and trying to manage the household on her own. This is keeping it normal. I shared with her how not easy relationships are, but worth the fight. Worth the work. I have to remind myself of this when I go through my funks.

All of this reminded me of how selfish I can be. How I'd really like to shed that attribute and don on God's redeeming grace, but I find myself in a corner getting clobbered once again by the onslaught of the enemy. Lord, call a TKO sometime soon!